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Khakibum: In the good old days when some shithouses were filthy, graffitied, ramshackle sheds (nearly all gone, sadly, in England now) where you could go for guaranteed cock fun, I liked to write on the wall above the piss stalls “If there’s a bloke in the shitrooms he’s sure to be playing with his cock.” Then I’d go in a cubicle, leave the door unbolted and sit down with my cock out, usually standing up like a ramrod. Then I’d wait for a curious guy to push – or kick – the door open. Sometimes I’d score, other times he was just investigating and wouldn’t do anything. Other times kids would come in, force the door open, laugh at me (they once took a picture – I’ve searched for it on the internet but no luck) and then run off laughing. I long for those days to come back, even though they won’t.

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